Cowboys & Aliens
Published by: Platinum Studios
Writer: Fred Van Lente & Andrew Foley
Penciller: Luciano Lima & Magic Eye Studios
Inker: J. Wilson, Silvio Spotti, Luciano Kars, Magic Eye Studios
Colorist: Andrew Elder
Letterer: Scott O. Brown
Title & Book Design: Zachary Pennington
Created By: Scott Mitchell Rosenberg

1 out of 5

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Premise: What if Manifest Destiny wasn’t just for imperialist American pigs any more?

Synopsis:

A ship full of intergalactic baddies crash-lands in the American Southwest in 1873 and attempt to enslave humanity using highly advanced weaponry and technology. Three white people, a small band of Apache, and a traitorous alien babe fight back with bows and arrows, some weird green energy whip, an alien arc welder, a hunk of alien metal, and a plan of attack stolen out of Top Secret!. Guess who wins.

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Review:

This could have been good. Maybe. But no, it was horrible. I rarely say that, but this was. I wouldn’t have picked it up at all, given the simple potential for being terrible bestowed upon it by the title. I wouldn’t have either, but my LCS had it on special for 75 cents (on a graphic novel with a cover price of $4.99), and there were just boxes of ‘em laying around. I want my 6 bits back, and then some.

The characters were two-dimensional, the allegory heavy-handed, and the art inconsistent. ‘Nuff said? No, read on!
This characters and plot combined to read like some bad 1940’s Hollywood western where white guys in dark makeup play the Apaches. The dialogue was forced into the writer’s imagining of how people talked. Whenever the two main characters were talking, in my mind I heard Jessie, the yodeling cowgirl from Toy Story 2, and that cook for the wagon train that always whistles his “S”s. Know who I’m talking about? Nevermind.

The art was so inconsistent, that in two side-by-side panels, the main female character has a straight-on face shot. In the second panel, she looks somewhat normal, although not quite right. In the first, her eyes aren’t even level on her face.

I believe that comics can migrate from the web to print (as this did), but come on! Put some effort into it! Maybe the next time I pick up something that came from the web, I’ll pick up a Penny Arcade trade.